I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
