She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
