you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
