Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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