Church boner. Awkwardddd
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
