I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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