you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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