I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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