I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
