You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
