this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize