i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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