if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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