I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize