just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
