It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
