Your mouth is God's brothel.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
