Where are you?
In a non slutty way
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
