I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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