She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
