We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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