He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
