dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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