i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
