how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it because I queefed?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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