Have you finally orgasmed yet?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
