yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
