oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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