Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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