This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
