i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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