or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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