Heybabeimwearingurpanties
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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