My hand turned me down
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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