i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
