Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
