I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
