I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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