Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
