If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize