Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
