Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
