Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
