i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
