So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize