i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
