I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
