my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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