she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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