I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
