just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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