I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
