When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
