when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
