You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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