you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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