im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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