He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
