No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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