What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
