Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
