I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My bed smells like the plague
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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