i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
