He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Less talking, more tequila
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
