Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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