Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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