dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
