So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
