he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
