You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize