I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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