break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
