If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
